There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
