I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
