wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
