This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
