i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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