Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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