At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
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