Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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