tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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