I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
