what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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