I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
