it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
