I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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