shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
