I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
