problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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