just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
