community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
