Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
