there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
