My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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