I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just invented taco cereal.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
