apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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