piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
