My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
