I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
