I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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