On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
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Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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