Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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