Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Randomize