I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
