The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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