idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
