So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
