It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
is that a dick in a sweater?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
