It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
