What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
