Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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