i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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