i already hear my dad disowning me
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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