No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
