his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
