But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
