Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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