The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
