I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize