I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
