capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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