I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Randomize
