I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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