I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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