remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
