If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
