I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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