Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
