i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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