question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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