What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
