we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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