is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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