I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
