i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize