She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
