so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
