in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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