carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize