Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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