Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
