She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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