dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
