Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
